If you're happy and you know it . . .

Who would've ever guessed that I'd find tremendous joy in hearing a Care Bear (Sunshine Bear, to be exact), sing?  But I did.  Just yesterday.

A couple weeks ago, we started a new kind of therapy for Viv.  Craniosacral therapy.  Cranio- what?!?! you may ask...and I wouldn't blame you.  Before a month ago, I had never heard of it but did a lot of quick learning.  If you're interested, you can check out a few helpful links below.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,999712,00.html
http://upledger.com/content.asp?id=61
http://www.angelphillipscst.com/my-services

The long and short of it is that the craniosacral system (that we all have but few of us know about) is centered around the membranes and fluid that surround your spinal cord and your brain stem.  The system is also directly related to your central nervous system and thus has a flow or "pulse" throughout your entire body.

Angel (yes, that is her real name), Vivian's CS therapist, describes it to Vivian as the energy that flows through her body that helps her body do everything is needs to do to grow and function.  If there are roadblocks in the CS system, there can be roadblocks to the growth, development and function.

We discovered at our first visit that Vivian had major roadblocks.  The very first thing that Angel did with her was have her hold the paw of a stuffed Care Bear that had sensors on its paws.  The idea is that if someone else holds the other paw and the two people join hands, the Care Bear will sing because of the connection of energy.  When Vivian held Angel's hand, the Care Bear sang.  However, when Angel put her hand on Vivian's forehead as opposed to holding her hand, the bear couldn't get past an "I, it, t, it, it, i, i, it" stuttering.  When she touched her cheek, same thing.  When she touched her chest, nothing.

After her first treatment two weeks ago, they tried the Care Bear again.  Hands, forehead and cheeks sang.  Chest still did not.  Yesterday when we went back for her second round of appts (third real appt), the Care Bear sang right away everywhere Angel touched...a slight hesitation on the chest, but not much.

That was great to hear.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Vivian's body is accepting the CST very well, and we are in awe of this new type of treatment.  Angel is very kind to share her knowledge and while sometimes what she does seems a little "out there" and hard for us to relate to, the rest is very scientific and has caused me to really think "why not?!?"

Vivi is a puzzle.  Always has been.  And while we've made progress on helping put the puzzle together, there's still a lot of work to do.  I think Angel will be an important puzzle master for us. 

Angel came to us rather non traditionally through a recommendation from friends of our neighbors, and as she lives in Minneapolis, it's not exactly next door, but so worth the 3-hour drive (and thank you thank you thank you mom for all your help).   A reminder to always be open an accepting to new opportunities and options.  And grateful that you have them. 

No matter what, Angel will help Vivian's body work better.  I have NO doubt about that.  What Vivi's body decides to do with that information remains to be seen.  It will take time, but I feel a kind of hope that I haven't felt in a long time, and I know that God has sent us yet another "Angel" to help us along our journey to health for Viv.

Vivi van Gogh

A short time ago, Vivi had a seizure.  Before she was fully recovered I tried to convince her to lay on the couch.  She was quite against that idea and instead insisted that she be able to go to her desk and draw. 

At that point, she could barely hold her colored pencil with her still shaking hand, but she set right to work on her next masterpiece. 

Through all of Vivian's challenges, one thing that has remained constant is her interest in her art.  While her drawings are a bit more abstract than they've been in the past, they never lack in meaning. 

Last Friday during break, our friend Lance drove up to spend an artistic day with Vivian, and as it turned out, her friend Lydia.  Lance knows very well of Vivian's challenges, but I was still concerned about how things would go since she's usually resistent to doing anything that's not her idea.  Plus, "being instructed" during art is something that usually doesn't go over well.

As usual, when I underestimate Vivian, she proved me wrong.  Lance simply let the girls have fun while gently showing them a thing or two (or three or four...) along the way, and the result was Vivian's best day of her break. 

Which also made it mine. 

Did you know that Vincent van Gogh had epilepsy?  He did. 

Perhaps someday someone will be looking at a creation by a newly acclaimed artist and ask "Did you know that Vivian Erickson has epilepsy?" 

You never know!  Because you never can underestimate Viv.

Happy New Year

People all around the globe will be shouting "happy new year" to one another over the next few hours.  And each one of those people have their own definition of what "happy" is to them.

For me, my happiness is directly connected to my childen's happiness. I recently read "A Christmas Wedding" by James Patterson, and while the book was kind of disappointing, there was a memorable line in it that said something like "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child." 

Thankfully, my children are not sad all that often (moody perhaps, but not necessarily sad) but there are a lot of other negative emotions or circumstances that can replace the word "saddest" for our situation. 

For me, my "happy" new year would be a year in which Vivi's seizures and all of her other challenges disappear and a year in which Julia learns to be grateful for the blessings and gifts she has - and realizes that one of those blessings is her sister.

I guess that's shooting for the stars, but what better day to do it than when knocking on the door of the new year?

I wish you all the happiness - whatever that means to you - in 2012.

Gratitude - Part 2

Buying teacher gifts has been an important part of our Christmas shopping since Julia started preschool 11 years ago.  (No worries...she did graduate and move on....)

And, for Viv, it is simply not acceptable for me to go out and buy something.  SHE needs to pick something out, which I think is very cool.

We had two try and fail shopping attempts over the weekend, with the fails being a seizure in the parking lot before we even got into the store and then a "blip" seizure (as we call them) while in the store.  Gladly, today we made it through.

That's part of my gratitude feeling for today.  But the biggest part is in the realization of just how many people we want to especially thank at her school this Christmas.  Most kids buy 1 or 2 gifts.  We needed 12.  Yes, 12.  And this is just for the people who help Vivian on a daily or weekly basis.  And this doesn't even count the librarian, gym teacher, music teacher, or art teacher.

While I wish that Vivian didn't need assistance from so many people, wow am I glad that each and every one of these people are in our lives.

Big-time gratitude.

And this is where I wish I was rich and could send each and every one of them on a fabulous Caribbean vacation for a week as a gift, because they deserve even more than that.

But instead, most will simply receive my heartfelt thanks and small token of appreciation, and the three people most close to Viv will receive something specially picked out by her.  Which I actually approved of and didn't have to use any of my power of persuasion for. 

So, God, I've been trying to say thank you more and realize the blessings we have in our lives.  Today, I say thank you for the angels at Rothschild Elementary.  And if they could just create a 6th grade at the school before next year, that would be great.

Nostalgia

I’m very nostalgic.  Those of you who know me well are probably saying “No shit” right about now.  (Hey, it’s my blog and I’ll swear if I want to.)  (Feel free to sing along.)

And the perfect time for nostalgia?  Christmas.  I just started pulling out some of the Christmas décor and happened upon a candle that I took, I mean that my mom gave me, some time ago that was in our house growing up for as long as I remember.  It’s a frosted glass pillar holder with a country Christmas scene.  I guard that thing with my life.  I don’t know how old it is, who my mom got it from, or anything about it, but I know that it symbolizes Christmas for me, and for that reason, I hold it very dear.

Another nostalgic moment….a couple months ago, I was at Hallmark staring at this years’ commemorative ornaments and they had a – YES! – a Fisher Price tick-tock clock.  And they only had one left.  I love the tick tock clock so much that I bought a plastic replica from Target last year since my mom will not give me the wooden original she has because it’s apparently my brother’s.  Yeah right.  Even if it is his, who loves it more?  Huh?  Me.  (Deep breath…)  Anyway…I call my mom all in a flutter because there’s just ONE left and I have every intention of buying it so she can give it to me.  As I finish telling her all about this find of the century she simply tells me “Well, if you buy it, you’ll have two, because I already bought it for you.”  (As an aside, now my brother wants one.  And they’re out of stock.  Everywhere in the state.  Ha – too bad Jason. Although my mom does have plans to go to the Rothschild Hallmark on the day they sell the display.  Little does she know that I’ll be getting there first.)

OK, so I’m also possessive about my nostalgia.

The big nostalgia moment of Christmas, though, will come next weekend with the Christmas tree.  You think I’m neurotic now, you should come Christmas tree shopping with me!  But you can’t deny that I chose a legendary tree every year…and someday when I have vaulted ceilings in my home it’ll be even more fun.  But neurosis aside, my favorite thing about the tree will be all of the ornaments that go on it.  Just about every ornament that goes on our tree has a story.  The pregnant kangaroo for the Christmas we were expecting Julia.  Vivi’s silver cup ornament for the year she was born.  Julia’s fairy ornament with the glowing icicle. The wooden reindeer ornament that’s now missing a leg and has many bite marks (thank you, Harvey).  Many, many dough ornaments with (at first) two names…then three…then four.  The Packer and Bear ornaments that the kids (and I) always put on the back of the tree.  And the list goes on.  It takes a looooong time to decorate the tree because the girls and I relive memories with every one.  (Mike does the lights and then makes excuses to leave the room while we do this.)

OK, I just read what I wrote up until this point, and apparently I am a nut job.  Perhaps, but I’m a well-intentioned, nostalgic nut job. 

And I’m OK with that.

Milestones

When we are younger, we look forward to the magic age of 13.  Then to 16.  Then to 18.  Then to 21.

Then we start dreading the next group of milestones....30, 40, 50....

It makes me remember a moment in college when a beautiful friend of mine went into a MAJOR slump after 21 because "there was nothing to look forward to anymore."  Funny to think back on this now as her life is filled with blessings at 39.  Sometimes at 22 it's hard to see all that will all be possible.

Today is my Dad's birthday.  I called him this morning to wish him a happy day, and we joked about the "later life" milestones of 55 (when you can get 10% off at IGA on Tuesdays), 62 when you can get Social Security (well, at least he can), and now 65 when he's "officially old now" (his words, not mine.)  I told him that the next biggie he'll have to look forward to is 100.  Which made him laugh...but you never know...after all, even at 65 it can be hard to see what's possible.

So, happy birthday, Dad.  Happy day to everyone, because no matter what, even if it's not your birthday, each day is special and a potential turning point in it's own right.  In the words of another great friend, "Take it.  Claim it.  Make it your own." 

And enjoy!

Gratitude

Before Vivian’s health challenges, I didn’t give much thought about gratitude.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know I was thankful for many things; however, I also know that I didn’t give it much conscious thought on a daily basis.

I don’t know why it took adversity for me to truly feel appreciation and gratitude.  Perhaps that just human nature. 

I do know this.  I’m grateful every moment of every day for many things now.

Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday, it's a state of mind...something to live each day of the year.